estonia, estonia, estonia...

imi aduc aminte de cum a inceput nebunia, dorinta mea de a ajunge in estonia. in urma cu cativa ani, am cunoscut-o pe Elina Raask, prima persoana de nationalitate estona. eram un membru oarecare in AIESEC, ea facea parte din comitetul national AIESEC Romania. inainte de a o cunoaste habar nu aveam de estonia... stiam ca e o tara pe undeva pe pamant, banuiam ca e prin europa, pe undeva prin nord, mai multe nu stiam. am povestit nitel cu ea, am inceput sa ma intereseze sa aflu, sa descopar din ce in ce mai mult.

am aplicat dupa un an in comitetul national al AIESEC Estonia, nu am reusit sa ajung intre cei 5, dar nu voi uita niciodata cate lucruri am aflat atunci despre estonia... 2 saptamani cel putin am stat cu burta pe materiale, cu nasu in calculator, pe internet, fascinata de ce inseamna si ofera tara asta minunata.

dupa cateva luni am intrat in baza de date a AIESEC Romania avand astfel posibilitatea de a merge intr-un traineeship. de atunci am fost mereu cu ochii pe estonia... nimic insa. am stat in sistem vreo doi ani. in vara anului trecut (2005) m-am hotarat sa imi acord o ultima sansa, o ultima incercare de a gasi un traineeship. incepusem sa renunt la visul meu, la estonia si eram dispusa sa accept orice traineeship pe marketing. am trimis vreo 30 de mailuri - unul inclusiv in estonia... raspunsurile, daca veneau, erau negative... ba ca jobul nu mai este valabil, ba ca traineeul e deja acolo... din estonia am primit un raspuns de genul: ne pare rau, am inceput selectia, nu te mai putem lua in calcul. mi-am spus: asta e! mergem mai departe, incepusem sa ma obisnuiesc cu ideea ca s-a terminat, incepusem sa ma gandesc la alte oportunitati pe care le am, cu regret ca nu am experimentat ceea ce inseamna traineeship oferit de AIESEC.

dupa 2-3 saptamani, primesc un mail din Tartu, de la AIESEC spunandu-mi ca din prima tura de candidati nu a fost aleasa nici o persoana, reprezentantii firmei (adica ai Universitatii) au vazut CVul meu si ca vor sa ia legatura cu mine... nu pot sa va descriu ce a fost in sufletul meu... apoi, cateva saptamani de pauza... nu stiam ce se intampla: ma gandeam ca s-au razgandit, imi era frica sa trimit mail sa intreb ceva, orice, de teama sa nu primesc un raspuns de genul: ne pare rau, am ales pe altcineva. dupa o luna de zile... nu voi uita niciodata ziua respectiva... eram la un client, faceam upgrade pentru noile programe de contabilitate in perioada denominarii, era 5-6 dupa-masa primesc un mail din estonia: cei de la universitate incearca sa dea de tine si nu reusesc, nu au adresa buna de mail...

am raspuns, le-am mai trimis o data adresa de mail, inclusiv numarul de mobil... dupa 15 minute imi suna telefonul: hello, we are from Tartu University... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... nu imi venea sa cred. am spus clar ca vreau sa imi ia atunci interviu... nu mai vrioam sa aman nici o clipa momentul... now or never! dupa cateva zile am primit raspuns ca am fost acceptata. am aflat in iulie, in 24 octombrie trebuia sa fiu la birou, in estonia... hahahahaaaaaa mi se parea tare ciudat. nu imi venea sa cred, discutam cu cei din AIESEC si parca vorbeam de experienta altei persoane... aveam uneori senzatia ca visez si pe masura ce se apropia data plecarii parca reveneam incet cu picioarele pe pamant. incepeam sa fiu din ce in ce mai speriata de tot ce urma sa se intample... urma sa plec intr-o tara despre care nu stiam aproape nimic, intre oameni pe care nu ii cunosteam. nu stiam ce e acolo, ce voi manca unde voi dormi, cat voi castiga, imi va fi suficient sa traiesc sau nu, cum e vremea, isi arata soarele fata sau urma sa experimentez o noapte polara... hahahahaaaaa...

la un moment dat am inceput numaratoarea inversa, da, imi doream din tot sufletul sa incep experienta asta minunata, pe de alta parte de cateva ori mi-a venit in minte ideea: las-o draku' de estonia si vezi-ti tu de ale tale! imi pare bine ca nu am facut asa si ca am avut curaju' sa pornesc la drum... mi-am cumparat pe la sfarsitul lui august biletul de avion... tocmai pentru a nu mai avea posibilitatea de a da inapoi...

i remember how it all started, my wish to come to estonia. few years ago i met Elina Raask, the first estonian person. i was member in AIESEC and she was member of AIESEC in romania national committee. before i met her i didn't have any idea about estonia. i knew is a country somewhere on the earth, i guessed it was somewhere in northern europe. after i talked with her i was more and more interested on this country.

after one year i applied in national committee of AIESEC estonia, i didn't make it. but it was a very usefull experience. i found out many things about estonia...

after few months i entered in AIESEC database having the posibility to go in a traineeship. i always kept my eyes on estonia... nothing. i was already in the database for 2 years when i decided to give a last try. i started to give up my dream about estonia and i was willing to accept everything on marketing. i sent 30 emails - one in estonia... the answers, if they came, were negative... from estonia also: we are sorry but we already started the selection procedure, we cannot take you in consideration anymore. i said to myself: that's it! i have to move on, i started to think about something else about other opportunities, regreting that i didn't try AIESEC traineeship experience.

after 2-3 weeks, i got an email from Tartu, from AIESEC. they were telling me that from the first round nobody was elected for the traineeship, the people from the university saw my cv and they want to contact me... i cannot tell what was in my heart... then few weeks i didn't get any mail or any sign from them... i didn't know what's going on: i thought that they changed their mind, i was scared to send an email and ask, anything. afraid not to receive a negative answer: we're sorry but we choose another person. after one month... i will never forget that day... i was to a client, i was doing upgradr for their new accounting software, it was 5-6 o'clock in the afternoon when i got an email from AIESEC estonia: the people from the university try to get in contact with you but they don't manage to get you. they don't have the right email address...

i answered that email right away, i sent my email address again, including my mobile phone number... after 15 minutes my phone rang: hello, we are calling from Tartu University... ... ... ... ... ... ... i couldn't believe it. i said that i want to talk with them about the traineehip then... i was afraid to postpone the interview... now or never! after few days they told me i was accepted. i got the answer in july, in 24 of october i had to be at work, in estonia... hahahahaaaaa it was so weird. i couldn't believe it, i was talking with people from AIESEC and i had the feeling that i was talking about someone else's experience... sometimes i had the feeling that everything is in a dream, and while the departure date was closer and closer i started to be with my feet on the ground. i started to be more and more scared about this. i didn't know what is there, what will i eat, where will i sleep, how much money will i get, it will be enough or not, how is the weather there, will i see the sun???... hahahahaaaa

at a certain moment i started to count the days backwards, i really wanted to start this experience but sometimes i was so scared than i said few times i want to quit. i am glad i didn't do it and that i had the courage to come here... i bought the plane ticket in august... it was written on it: no way back!